Is There a Reality Star Girlfriend Curse in the NFL?
Is there really a reality star girlfriend curse in today’s NFL players? We think so.
Call it fate. Call it luck. Call it karma. Okay, this isn’t Ghostbusters, but it is a little eerie. I call in the curse of the reality star girlfriends. We have all heard about the Madden Curse. Supposedly whichever player is on the cover of the Madden game that year will either get hurt, or have a bad year. The curse is so accurate I have actually adjusted my fantasy team draft based on who is on the cover. But now it is starting to look like the same can be said for dating a girl with a reality show.
I present for your consideration the following pieces of evidence. We will start with this year. Kim Kardashian was dating Dallas Cowboy’s wide receiver Miles Austin. During the off season and preseason everything looks great. Austin is playing well and even signs a large contract extension. In his first game against the Washington Redskins he goes off and has a career night. Then Kim Kardashian and he break up. Suddenly, last week against Huston, he only has 2 catches for 20 yards. Now this alone might not make much sense, but hang on, there is more to come. Last year Kim Kardashian dated Reggie Bush. He had a great year that was capped off with him helping his team, the New Orleans Saints, to a Super Bowl victory. This year, once Kim has taken her ample assets and moved on, Bush had 7 carries for 18 yards over two games then broke his leg. When Kim comes to town her ass seduces you into thinking it’s all okay, but as she leaves, it tears down buildings and thrashes teams like Godzilla pummeling Tokyo.
Moving out of the voodoo of the south we go north to the Chicago Bears where we find quarterback Jay Cutler. Jay is dating The Hills hottie Kristin Cavallari. That would seem harmless enough. There is a long history football players dating girls who are famous for being hot, but since Kristin is a reality star the curse finally took hold. The power of The Bears and the still present essence of Ditka held it off for a while, but eventually it broke through and struck Cutler square in the head, giving him a concussion and causing him to miss this week and who knows how much longer.
Staying in Chicago we find ourselves mixed up in the curious case of Brian Urlacher. There is no question that Urlacher is one of the best players in the NFL. He is probably one of the best linebackers to ever suit up. But he is no match for the reality star curse. Brian picked the mother of all reality starlets when he started dating Paris Hilton last year. At first it was all good, but that was in the off season and the preseason. As the season got underway Urlacher dislocated his wrist in the first week, had surgery and missed the entire season.
And lastly we go back to Dallas where we find Tony Romo. A few seasons back Romo had a high profile romance with Jessica Simpson. He played pretty well during the regular season- well enough to get the Dallas Cowboys to a playoff game. As they faced Seattle the ghost of the reality show babe curse swept in and caused Romo to fumble the snap on the field goal that would have won them the game. They lost and the hollowed, evil laugh of the reality show starlet curse echoed throughout greater Texas.
Maybe it is just coincidence, but if you ask any good conspiracy theorist they will tell you that there are no coincidences. If I were a head coach or a GM of an NFL team I would not allow reality shows or reality starlets anywhere near my team. They might be pretty, but like a large tidal wave, they leave nothing but disaster in their wake.
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