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Miss Cleo’s Friday the 13th Celeb Predictions

Posted by on May 12, 2011 at 1:15 PM EST

friday the 13thI believe Miss Cleo’s Friday the 13th predictions would include Justin Bieber, Lady Gaga, Elton John, Kate Middleton and more!

I think it would go something like this: Miss Cleo here. I’ve served my jail time and I’d like to give you all a heads up on the exciting celebrity news that should be making headlines tomorrow on Friday the 13th. As you know, I have a brilliant track record as a psychic, and past customers will attest that my skills cannot be matched! Call me now!

Friday the 13th is always a scary day, not only for celebrities, but for normal people, too. If a black cat crosses your path, you’re in for double trouble. Consider calling in sick and playing things safe!  Tomorrow, I envision that Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez will be announcing their public breakup. Those two are crazier than a loony in a liquor store, and despite how “cute” they look as a couple, my crystal ball is telling me that their motives have always been twisted, and that fame has been complicating things for some time. That boy Bieber is touring right now, and getting a visual of him vomiting and crying. Nasty!

My crystal ball is also telling me that Lady Gaga will be making some kind of announcement…I’m seeing the diva promoting her new album, “Born this Way,” and announcing…a pregnancy! With…Elton John? Lady Gaga is pregnant with Elton John’s baby? Oh Lord!

Now I’m seeing…give me a second, it’s looking kinda cloudy…oh that’s that white boy Prince William, fighting with Kate Middleton! I’m seeing her running away from him and wearing his crown! Watch out Catherine or you’ll be the next Lindsay Lohan! Be smart girl, and don’t make Willy angry. That boy has a lot of influence…well I can’t give everything away, folks, but if you want to get some personalized Friday the thirteenth predictions, you should know what to do…call me now!

Do you have what it takes to be a psychic? Leave a prediction for tomorrow (Friday the 13th) in the comment section below!

(This is purely a Satire piece and in no way depicts “real” events)



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