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Chuck Norris Invented Winning

Posted by on March 10, 2011 at 2:24 PM EST

chuck norris winningChuck Norris invented winning; drinks tiger blood for breakfast.

71 years ago today, a legend was born. Wildly popular internet cult hero Chuck Norris has led a life full of intrigue and mystery. Fact: While Charlie Sheen is boasting about tiger blood, Chuck Norris is dividing by zero. Fact: If Charlie Sheen is bi-winning, Chuck Norris is tri-winning. Fact: Sheen may be a winner, but Chuck Norris was born first, therefore he is his superior. We must respect our elders.

In all seriousness, Chuck Norris is amazing, and yes, today is his birthday. In his lifetime, Norris has starred in Walker, Texas Ranger, been named an honorary United States Marine, and is one of the first Westerners to ever attain the rank of 8th Degree Black Belt Grand Master, in Tae Kwon Do.

Aside from being an Internet meme, Norris is a devout Christian. He’s published several Christian-themed books, including “The Justice Rider.” Norris may be viewed as less of a winner than Sheen because he is a Republican, and has openly spoken out against public schools that “condone” homosexuality. Chuck Norris may need to study his Chun Kuk Do (a martial art Norris invented), wherein rule 7 reads “I will maintain an attitude of open-mindedness.”

That being said, a very Happy Birthday to Chuck Norris, who looks remarkably young for 71!



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