Lindsay Lohan Opens School of Fail
Lindsay Lohan opens up her very own School of Destruction; who will sign up?
Lindsay Lohan is taking time out from her busy schedule and is opening up her exclusive School of Fail. Lindsay will be professor extraordinaire and principal at this new learning facility in which she will teach her fellow actors/actresses how to fail at life. LindsayLohan stated: “This school is going to kick ass, I can’t wait to teach my fellow celebs all of my dirty secrets.” Something tells me Miley Cyrus will be the first to sign up, followed closely by the Canadian boy wonder, Justin Bieber. (I am sure Selena Gomez will be right there by his side)
I know Lindsay Lohan will be the principal but how amazing would it be to have Charlie Sheen as the Dean of Admissions? It really would make Lohan’s School of Fail a fast-track to sending your career straight down the shitter. For all of you celebrities interesting in signing up [Sorry Chris Brown, there will be no woman beater’s class] here is the official course list:
Lohan’s Guide to Cocaine – Paris Hilton, this one is for you! In this class Professor Lohan will teach you everything you need to know about the powdery white substance, if you pass she will even give you her dealer’s name!
Jewelry Heists 101 – In this class Lindsay Lohan will deliver step-by-step instructions on how to steal Jewelry you can afford but just don’t feel like paying for. I hear Winona Ryder will be the guest-speaker in one of these class sessions to discuss how to steal clothing.
Gibson’s Anti-Semitic Rant – Hold on tight for this class as LiLo has gotten a hold of Mel Gibson to conduct this course on his hatred for Jews. It surely will be a wild ride and I am pretty sure Justin Bieber will cry at the sight of all of Gibson’s pent up anger.
Abortion for Ballers – Last but not least is everyone’s favorite douche bag, Kanye West. Mr. West will be teaching a course on his vast knowledge of abortions and how to protect yourself from those money hungry “bi**hes.” I am sure Bieber will have plenty to say on this subject; maybe the student will teach the instructor a little something.
We are told that Lindsay Lohan’s School of Fail will b e opening this summer. That is of course if she isn’t in jail for the felony grand theft debacle she’s undergoing.
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